Understanding That I Cannot Live at Peace with Everyone: Living with Not Being Able to Do the Impossible

[Note: This is a pre-pub version of my article submission for The Jenkins Institute’s August 2023 issue of The Preaching & Ministry Journal.]

God created human beings to be social, and to live within community. When “God created man in his image, in the image of God he created him,” notice that the text then equates this action with, “male and female he created them” (Gen 1:27).[1] The word “man” (’adam) here is not exclusive to the male but is generic for mankind as a created order. Mankind is the only creation made in God’s image and likeness, which is to say, that elements of the human species allow us to approximate what God is like. Humans are not God, but they share a “family resemblance.” A few of these resemblances include being free social, moral, spiritual, and relational creatures.

Christian ministry among God’s people and in the world speaks to these fundamental human issues and experiences. God has always communicated his will to humanity to shape our social, moral, spiritual, and relational toward godliness through Divine action, word, or prophetic revelation (Heb 1:1–2; 4:12–13). Unfortunately, our ungodliness gets in the way. Not only is the human response to the exposing power of God’s word often filled with resistance, but often the people who pursue godly living are resisted, rejected, and in extreme cases have been persecuted (1 Pet 4:1–19). Christian ministry, then, is grounded in the understanding of God’s word, its proclamation of the gospel by which sin is condemned, and the power of God’s gracious sanctification is heralded.

The work of Christian ministry is seated right in the heart of the human experience. It challenges free will choices, condemns certain actions, and commends others, and does so with love and righteousness serving as tandem virtues. Jesus in his farewell words to his disciples, reminded them that the word of God makes enemies. For this reason, he quoted Psalm 35:19, “They hated me without a cause” (John 15:26). This raises the issue of this short essay: while ministry is often filled with wonderful experiences and we witness meaningful spiritual triumphs, it is inevitable that the ministry of the word will create conflict among those we share it. We cannot always live in peace with everyone. How do we as ministers navigate this hard bitter truth? I suggest the following spiritual and emotional tools.

Spiritual Tools

Sitting with the Rejected Jesus

When we find ourselves at the barrel end of the anger and rejection of those we minister to, we need to sit with Jesus. God’s work comes with rejection. Jesus said, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you” (John 15:18). The prophet Isaiah foresaw the coming of Jesus and depicted him as the rejected servant who will suffer for the healing of Israel (52:13–53:12; Acts 8:35). On the surface, he was “stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted” (Isa 53:4), but in fact, he was punished by God for Israel’s rebellion against God (Isa 53:5).

Robert Chisholm notes that Isaiah affirms that “this apparent alienation was not final” for God’s servant will be vindicated (53:10–11).[2] The Gospels recount in detail how in his ministry Jesus was rejected for the hard truths against hypocrisy, traditionalism, and lack of love and grace for the downtrodden. I have learned to sit with Jesus when I feel rejected by those to whom I minister the word of God.

The Light Must Shine in the Darkness

The light of God’s word often creates tensions with those whose sins, consciences, or beliefs are cloaked in the darkness of worldliness. There is a great temptation to preach what is agreeable to the majority. When we push beyond what is traditionally expected or on controversial topics, biblical conclusions about sin may be met with hostility. These hostilities may be warranted if the presentation lacked love or adequate biblical foundation. Other times, hostilities arise because a social norm that has become acceptable is called sin. The preaching of repentance is to trade in resistance.

Additionally, preaching God’s word trades in light and darkness, righteousness and sin, morality and immorality, and personal sins and relational sins. If we refrain to proclaim the “whole counsel of God” then we will have abdicated our role as servants of God (Acts 20:26–27; Gal 1:10). It is hard to speak God’s word to people you love when you know that you are shining God’s light into their darkness (John 1:5, 11–12), but this is the task we have accepted. Trust the light to do its work.

Compassionate without Compromise

Every preacher brings a culture to their pulpit. Our desire to be faithful to God’s word can sometimes lack compassion. We should take time to evaluate if some of our uneasy relationship with others is because we preach as if there is only one type of preaching: harsh. The oracles of Moses, the prophets, and the sermons and discourses of Jesus and the apostles provide us with diverse examples of proclamation. Jesus certainly condemns sin. Remarkably, he lovingly invites the sinner to the innermost part of his heart (Matt 11:28–30).

On one occasion, Matthew cites Isaiah 42:1–3 to describe Jesus’ healing love for the sick. His compassion is framed as “a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench” (Matt 12:18–21). William Barclay (1907–1978) reflects on this well, “A man’s witness may be shaky and weak; the light of his life may be but a flicker and not a flame; but Jesus did not come to discourage but encourage.”[3] We should always do some soul-searching when reflecting on the friction created by our attempts to proclaim God’s word.

Emotional Tools

Disappointment is a Normal Reaction

Isaiah declared, “who has believed what he has heard from us?” (53:1). Paul himself cited this in Romans 10:16 as he discusses the problem that not everyone will believe, yet the gospel must go out. Ministry is people work. We work with people. People disappoint us, especially those that know us and our love for them. It is hard not to personally take the rejection of what we teach and preach. Jesus reminds us that when our teaching aligns with his, any rejection of the doctrine goes back to our God.

The disappointment in “ministry outcomes” can tap into our identity issues and send us down a shame and depression spiral. Not everyone will like our preaching style. Not everyone will like our personality. Not everyone will accept us either. Sadly, we will be misunderstood as well. We will be judged by word gaffes in the pulpit. Our hard stand on sin will sometimes be confused for bigotry and outdated morality. People we love may be inadvertently hurt by ministering the word of God. We always want clear skies, but we must endure cloudy days. Disappointment is a normal reaction when our good-faith intentions in ministry create personal problems with others. Love them through your disappointments.

Frustration is No Excuse for Bad Behavior

As a young man, I thought I would become an auto mechanic for Mercedes-Benz. One day in auto school, two Russian students were heard banging on a car. The teacher yelled out into the shop, “What are you doing?” In response one of the men said in a thick Russian accent, “Don’t worry, sledgehammer and screwdriver fix everything.” My teacher was not impressed. When our message offends, and it will then remember we are stewards of God’s word. When we are frustrated by how people respond to us, we need to remember it is not an excuse for short-sighted responses that satisfy our emotional fixations of retribution.

“Sledgehammer and screwdriver” will not fix everything. When reading the Gospels, Jesus certainly had his fair share of direct controversies, but he always tempered them based on the kind of person that stood before him. Frustration often seeks a release because we have been let down. It is hard to remember that the person in front of you needs the grace of Jesus, not a petty unkind word that took a second to say but may take a lifetime to overcome. Yet, we are called to be peacemakers between God and man, and with each other (Matt 5:9; Jas 3:17–18). The work of peace-making applies the transforming “heart of Jesus” to times of conflict.[4]

Pray and Meditate through the Psalms

If there ever was a biblical figure that understood conflict in his life with those who oppose God’s will, few rival David. To say David was not perfect is an understatement. He is a multi-dimensional figure. Warrior and worshiper, sinner and a man after God’s own heart, condemned and vindicated, a political rival and a Divinely appointed king. The books of Samuel also reveal him to be musically inclined. He eventually received the moniker, “the sweet psalmist of Israel” (2 Sam 23:1). 73 psalms in the Psalter explicitly are “of David.” They are prayer-songs David wrote to praise God, declare faith and trust in God, plea for divine retribution, and recount God’s deliverance. Philip Yancey says that these “150 psalms are as difficult, disordered, and messy as life itself, a fact that can bring unexpected comfort.”[5] These psalms are a powerful tool for emotionally wrestling with ministry conflicts.

A significant form of the psalm is the lament. The lament is essentially a broad category of urgent prayer for God’s redeeming and saving intervention. Despite the sense of being God’s anointed and chosen, it seems rejection follows God’s servant. Sometimes the rejection is fatal and communal (Psa 22), or betrayal (Psa 41). These laments reveal that conflict in the life of God’s servant can cause confusion despite a deep faith. They can help structure our prayer life when wrestling with conflict. Psalm 13, for example, illustrates this process: call to God with our complaint (1–2), petition God to intervene (3a), give God reasons for his intervention (3b–4), and an expression of faith or sense of vindication that God has helped us through our conflicts with others (5–6). It is an interactive type of prayer.[6] As ministers, we need a prayer life to help us cope with conflicts in ministry when we are unable to live peaceably with others.

Conclusion

The spiritual and emotional tools I have surveyed are essential tools for the minister in times of conflict. I have not listed intellectual tools because our instincts to respond to conflict and rejection are often emotional responses. As Jack Cottrell (1933–2022) reflects,

What should a Christian do when harmed by another person…? The almost-universal tendency is to personally strike back, to retaliate, to try to get even, to make the evildoer pay for the harm he has done, i.e., to seek personal revenge.”[7]

Cottrell, Romans (1998)

Paul calls all Christians to resist this tendency for vengeance, “repay no one evil for evil… if possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom 12:17–18). My prayer for those in ministry is to develop the emotional and spiritual disciplines above so they can endure the temptations which emerge from ministerial conflict.

Endnotes

[1] All Scripture references are from the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

[2] Robert B. Chisholm, Jr., Handbook on the Prophets: Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, Daniel, Minor Prophets (2002; reprint, Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2009), 120–21.

[3] William Barclay, The Gospel of Matthew, rev. ed. (Philadelphia, PA: Westminster, 1975), 2:34.

[4] Ken Sande, The Peace Maker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, 3rd ed. (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2004), 134–35.

[5] Philip Yancey, The Bible Jesus Read (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1999), 119.

[6] Walter Brueggemann, An Introduction to the Old Testament: The Canon and Christian Imagination (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox, 2003), 281–84.

[7] Jack Cottrell, Romans (Joplin, MO: College Press, 1998), 2:343.

Bibliography

Barclay, William. The Gospel of Matthew. 2 vols. Revised edition. Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox, 1975.

Brueggemann, Walter. An Introduction to the Old Testament: The Canon and Christian Imagination. Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox, 2003.

Chisholm, Robert B., Jr. Handbook on the Prophets: Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, Daniel, Minor Prophets. 2002. Reprint, Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2009.

Cottrell, Jack. Romans. 2 vols. College Press NIV Commentary. Edited by Anthony Ash. Joplin, MO: College Press, 1998.

Sande, Ken. The Peace Maker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. 3rd edition. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2004.

Yancey, Philip. The Bible Jesus Read. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1999.


Lecture: Conversion of a Gang Member

1

“Conversion of a Gang Member” was a part of the Conversion Series for the 11th annual Affirming the Faith Seminar held at the North MacArthur church of Christ (Oklahoma City, OK). The 2018 theme was Unfinished Business.

Lecture Audio

Click the image below to listen to the audio. It will open in a new tab.

ATF 2018.jpg

Lesson Summary

The conversion to Christ by a gang member comes with its own challenges culturally, spiritually, socially, and developmentally. The stark contrast between the evils and perils of the world from the lives of long-time church-goers is often hard to quantify and hard to appreciate. We need a cooperative learning model that gives the church insight to enter and help their communities and provides a “training in righteousness” mentorship for the new covert.

The Lecture Presentation Slides

Notes

  • Related reading: Jovan Payes, “Leaving a Street Gang for Christ,” Gospel Advocate (April 2015).
  • “Lessons and Suggestions…”
    • I was able, for the most part, to blend and weave “lessons and suggestions” throughout the lecture.
    • Let me add a few Lessons
      • Even when we do not understand “where” our new converts are coming from socially and culturally, we can love them and plug them into the culture of the church. What we do not understand about them should not hinder us from incorporating them.
      • Shaming converts because they are urban, ethnic, or from a broken home will never do. The world no longer has the old “normal” standards or expectations. We need to be flexible with our expectations of what people know, how they think and relate, and where their pains exist – for not all scars are skin deep, some go to the soul. We do not need to add to their trauma. There are no “normal” people, there are only people.
      • In our excitement to celebrate people’s conversions to Christ, we need to be careful not to tell their story without permission. Some people are not ready emotionally to talk about where they come from, or what they’ve done in their life. Learn to embrace their new life in Christ, without forcing them to dig out their skeletons and trauma. They will do that when it is right for them to glorify God in Jesus.
    • Let me add a few Suggestions
      • We -the church- need to stop taking ourselves so seriously. We are all in need of grace and forgiveness… that includes our elderly members as well. So, we need to take Paul’s words to heart: “welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God” (Romans 15:7 ESV).
      • Develop a “adopt a new Convert” program, or adopt a new convert on your own. Sometimes we wait for churches to create programs that need to happen now. Don’t wait for approval to serve… just serve. If you need permission… I permit you to serve. :) : “For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:35).
      • Remember the goal is to make disciples, but everyone starts at a different start line. Jesus’ words are clear, we are to not leave them to figure things out, but to develop them – give them moral and spiritual goals: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you…” (Matthew 28:19-20).

Oh Be Careful Little Ears…

Who would we be –and where– without those individuals who gave us the guidance and benefits of their wisdom accrued over the years of their experience. The powerful influences of those who have been our benefactors have left an indelible mark upon our lives in more ways than we often can be thankful for.

Of course, not all influences are of the same caliber. The Scriptures remind us of those powerful influences which may tug at our hearts and emotional fixations. Let us look at a few examples of counsel poorly chosen; then reflect upon choosing those wonderful influences which will improve our lives.

Counsel Poorly Chosen

Enabling Wrong-Doing to Satisfy an Obsession

Emotional fixations are very dangerous if left to fester and grow into obsessions. There are some who would do anything to help you gratify your desires.

No one knows this tragic lesson better than Amnon who had an obsession for his beautiful half-sister Tamar (2 Sam 13). Apparently, Amnon’s vexation was so apparent that his cousin Jonadab counsels him to pretend an illness, so that he may request the nursing care of his unsuspecting victim Tamar in his isolated chambers.

The results were a horrific incestuous rape, Amnon’s assassination at the hands of Tamar’s brother Absolam, and in turn an attack upon the throne of David as a further expression of his vengeful defiance. Absalom would lose his life in the insurrection.

Leaning on the Ambitions of the Power Hungry

In the transitional moments following King Solomon’s death and the rise of his successor Rehoboam, the young king had a choice to make: should he be a heavy-handed king like his father, or relieve the people of their plight (1 Kings 12:1-5)?

Rehoboam seeks the counsel of two groups of men, “the old men” (12:6-7) and “the young men” (12:8-11). The “old men” who had seen the oppression of his father were moved with compassion and propose that the new king’s reign should be based upon the welfare of his people, not upon an “iron fist.” [All Scripture references are from the English Standard Version unless otherwise noted.]

Unfortunately, Rehoboam listened to “the young men” with whom he had grown up. They propose an intensified cruel reign (12:9-11). The new king must be vindictive and cruel; his subjects ought to live in fear.

Little wonder that the majority of the Israelite tribes (10 of 12) seceded to follow a new claimant king – Jeroboam. The results were disastrous, for his idolatrous influence plagued the Northern Kingdom of Israel until its demise in 722 BC (2 Kings 17-18). This too was predicated upon Jeroboam’s fear of losing power over his subjects only that instead of listening to the counsel of others “he had devised [this] from his own heart” (1 Kings 12:25-33).

Accepting False Teaching Affects Moral Purity

False teachers are tremendous influences of evil upon our lives. In order to shake up the Corinthian congregation to reject false teaching regarding the resurrection (i.e. that it had already occurred, 1 Cor 15:12-32), Paul quotes the playwright Menander’s comedy Thais (ca.300 BC):

Bad company ruins good morals. (1 Cor 15:33)

By this quote, Paul argues against making associations with false teachers (false mentors); the influence would be, he argues, disastrous upon their morals (v. 34).[1]

Why?

“What could have been” enters the mind when considering the tragedy of Tamar, if only Jonadab had counseled his cousin in another direction.

One ponders, “if only Rehoboam had listened to the wise counsel of the ‘old men’” instead of submitting to the influence of his power grabbing childhood “friends”?

Too, why did Jeroboam reject the religion of the Lord after all that the Lord had promised to make a covenant with him as king (1 Kings 11:29-39)?

When the foundation of the Christian message is founded upon the resurrection from the dead according to the Scriptures (1 Cor 15:1-11), what could be so tempting in the notion that the dead do not rise (15:12)? There is nothing to gain if there is no resurrection. Why move from hope to hopelessness?

Influence and Personal Responsibility

As they say, “hind-sight is 100%.” The Monday morning quarterback is always a pro-bowler, and the “back seat” driver should be authorized to distribute driver licenses. I bring out these clichés because they are pertinent to this discussion.

The matter is not that we are “back seat” drivers telling another how they should have done better. We learn from the mistakes of the past in order to inform our own decisions so that we may not repeat their failures.

This is a matter regarding personal responsibility in light of those moments we allow others into our decision-making process.

Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance, to understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles. (Prov 1:5-6)

God calls us to seek His Word, warning us of the consequences of “ignoring” His counsel and reproof (Prov 1:25).

Like Amnon, Rehoboam and Jeroboam, and the Corinthians there may be temptations which vex us and those enticing us to embrace it by conspiring (via advice or false teaching) a way to experience it; however, like Joseph we need to keep our principles realizing that to satiate a sinful desire betrays God and those who would be destroyed by such an action (Gen 39:6-10).

When we are lost in the possibility that “we could” do something and never stop to think about whether we should,[2] we have left the hallmarks of responsibility behind. Proverbs 7:1-27 reminds of this truth, as Solomon speaks to the dangers of irresponsibility. Seeking counsel does not absolve us from the importance of making the right decision (Prov 11:14), nor from taking responsibility should our “counseled” decisions return to us as a mistake (Matt 5:23-24).

The Scriptures are very clear that we cannot “pass the buck” when it comes to our responsibilities. Every action – public or private – will be evaluated by a Holy God (Eccl 12:14).

The Blame Game

“Passing the buck” is such a common saying that we tend to be ignorant of its origin. President Truman has been associated with this saying, but actually, it is a term from the game of poker as played in the frontier days of the American story.

During these days, a marker or counter was a knife with a buckhorn handle – the “buck.” It “was used to indicate the person whose turn it was to deal”; moreover:

If the player did not wish to deal he could pass the responsibility by passing the ‘buck,’ as the counter came to be called, to the next player.

TrumanLibrary.org

Hence, “pass the buck” means to pass the responsibility on to someone else.

In Truman’s “farewell address” he affirms “the President – whoever he is – has to decide. He can’t pass the buck to anybody. No one else can do the deciding for him. That’s his job” (TrumanLibrary.org).

The saying applies to us all; no one can make our decisions for us. No excuses. This is “ground zero” of personal responsibility.

The First Blame Game

In the early days of the human family, Adam and Eve succumbed to the subtlety of the serpent’s questions regarding the forbidden fruit. When the Lord asked them concerning their actions, Adam and Eve attempt to distance themselves from the responsibility of their actions by placing upon either their spouse or the creature (Gen 3:8-13).

Giving in to Others is Not an Excuse

In early years of the Kingdom of Israel, King Saul was called upon to wage war upon the Amalekites. In fact, Saul was charged specifically to “go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have” (1 Sam 15:3; Lev 27:28).

Upon return from their victory over Amalek, Saul returns with the choice items of the plunders of war – with which he was not supposed to return. Moreover, he returns with the King (15:9). As a consequence, the prophet Samuel questions the king regarding the bleating of the sheep and lowing of the oxen (15:14).

The king places the burden of the decision to disobey God’s command upon the people, attempting to absolve himself from moral responsibility (15:9, 15, 20-21); yet, the king was completely complicit (15:9). Nevertheless, despite the action of others, the Lord was displeased with Saul and it cost him his throne (15:17-19, 26).

Personal Ownership

Accepting the Burden of our Decisions without Excuses

When David is presented with a parable, he unwittingly condemns himself for the adultery with Bathsheba (2 Sam 11:1-5), a failed cover-up (11:6-13), and the murder of Uriah (11:14-27).

Instead of passing the buck, David accepts accountability and the consequences of his sin. Unlike the many cases of Saul’s incessant impudence, denying his sins – David quickly moves to being convicted of heart. One only needs to read Psalm 51 in order to see his contrition for his sins before God.

Our Future is Based upon Decisions Made Today

When the Kingdom of Judah was exiled into captivity in the 7th–6th century BC, one of the concerns raised is the following: “Our fathers sinned, and are no more; and we bear their iniquities” (Lam 5:7). The exile was a time where the question of sin and responsibility and accountability before the Lord was pondered.

In Ezekiel 14:12-23, the prophet makes it clear that even if many Old Testament faithful were alive during the days of the exile, men like Noah, Daniel and Job would be saved and delivered from the exile because they are righteous. Unlike the rebellious character of the generation of the exile, righteous people could experience deliverance.

This is heavily answered in chapter 18; in particular verses 19–20:

Yet you say, ‘Why should not the son suffer for the iniquity of the father?’ When the son has done what is just and right, and has been careful to observe all my statutes, he shall surely live. (Ezek 18:19)

The son can escape the consequences of his father’s sin by living faithfully to the Lord. We must realize that our futures are partly shaped by our decisions.

One of the most important aspects to receiving the guidance offered by another is taking ownership of the decision to act on it or not.

Some attempt to fabricate a scenario in order to get the advice they desired in the first place but what they wanted was the “green light” from “another” to relieve them of responsibility. Some else made their choice for them.

Others simply run with the first piece of advice thrown at them. In either case, whether it is poor advice or good advice, one cannot escape personal responsibility for the course taken. Here we conclude our discussion.

Good Counsel Taken

Naomi and Ruth

One of the tenderest moments in Old Testament history is the relationship between Naomi and Ruth. After being widowed in the land of Moab, she gave her sons into marriage only to lose them over the course of a decade (Ruth 1:1-5). The only daughter-in-law to remain with Naomi is Ruth, and she joins Naomi on her return to Israelite land (1:6-22).

Being a stranger in another culture is difficult, but thankfully for Ruth she was blessed by a kind man (Boaz) who knew her story. Boaz cautioned her to stay on his land and among his servants and the young women.

When she returns to Naomi’s abode, Naomi reinforces Boaz’s counsel so that she is not assaulted by men in another field (2.22).

Naomi then counsels her to remarry with Boaz – a “redeemer” (2:20; 3:1-17). A redeemer is “one who frees or delivers another from difficulty, danger, or bondage.”[3] And Naomi provides the love, direction, and mentorship to give Ruth a chance at a good life with Boaz after enduring all the hardship of being a widow.

While Boaz works out the details with the extended family of Naomi’s husband, Ruth returns home and explains the situation to her. In a moment of wisdom, Naomi tells Ruth:

Wait, my daughter, until you learn how the matter turns out, for the man will not rest but will settle the matter today. (Ruth 3:18)

The outcome was a marriage that would be central to the lineage of King David (Ruth 4:13-22), and ultimately the ancestral beginnings of Jesus (Matt 1:5-6, 16).

Mordecai and Esther

When Esther replaces Vashti as queen of Persia, in the days of King Ahasuerus her relationship with her cousin Mordecai results in the protection of the Jewish population in exile.

A plot had emerged to genocide the Jewish population of the Persian Empire orchestrated by Haman. When Mordecai becomes aware of the plot, he impresses upon Esther with counsel to go to the king to stop it:

And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this? (Esth 4:14b)

The results where an intercession so dramatic that Haman’s plot is foiled, he is punished by death, the Jews are delivered, and the Feast of Purim is inaugurated to honor this great event (Esth 5:1-9:32).

Samuel and Eli

In those transitional years when Israel settled into the land of Canaan, the Lord raised “judges” to deliver the people from oppression and led them to faithfulness. The last of the judges is the prophet Samuel. His beginnings are miraculous (1 Sam 1-2).

When he was a very young boy, Samuel’s mother Hannah lends him over to the Lord’s service for the entirety of his life (2:21-28). Samuel is placed into the care of the high priest Eli.

When Samuel grows to be “young man” he is found serving under Eli. On one occasion, when Samuel was sleeping “the Lord called Samuel” (3:4); it was during a unique time when “the word of the Lord was rare” and there “was no frequent vision” (3:1b). Consequently, Samuel – and Eli – did not understand what was happening when the Lord began to call Samuel for service.

Samuel initially arose from bed and presented himself before Eli, “Here I am”. Three times it occurred, twice Eli responded, “I did not call; lie down” (3:4-7). On the third time, Eli “perceived” that Samuel was being called by the Lord (3:8).

Eli counsels Samuel on how to respond to the Lord’s call (3:9): “Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.” That one moment of guidance set the groundwork for one of the greatest prophets of biblical history. Samuel led Israel faithfully, he set up kings (Saul and David) and deposed another (Saul).

Concluding Thoughts

Where would we be without mothers who guided our futures by their powerful faith? How would we make those important life-changing decisions without the passionate pleas from our friends? Or, how would we see the Lord calling us to do great things for Him if not by trusting in the wisdom of a good friend?

“No man is an island”; neither are our decisions. “What would ‘_’ have done” has helped us on many occasions. Let us apply wisdom prayerfully, knowing that in the end, the responsibility of our actions is all on us. Let there be mercy.

Endnotes

  1. Marion L. Soards, 1 Corinthians (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson, 1999), 339.
  2. This is a play on a scene from the sci-fi film Jurassic Park (Universal, 1993) where Dr. Ian Malcolm reacts to the reckless behavior of geneticists in the film who were cloning dinosaurs for an amusement park. Here is the dialogue courtesy of IMDB.comDr. Ian Malcom: If I may… Um, I’ll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you’re using here, it didn’t require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn’t earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don’t take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could, and before you even knew what you had, you patented it, and packaged it, and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now [bangs on the table] Dr. Ian Malcolm: you’re selling it, you wanna sell it. Well… John Hammond: I don’t think you’re giving us our due credit. Our scientists have done things which nobody’s ever done before… Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.
  3. “Redeemer,” Nelson’s New Illustrated Bible Dictionary, ed. Ronald F. Youngblood (Nashville, TN: Nelson, 1995), 1073.

Keep Moving Forward… on Purpose

Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious… and curiousity keeps leading us down new paths.

Walt Disney, quoted in Meet the Robinsons (2007), ending scene


If you’re going to turn a ship, there are going to be people who did things a certain way to get them into this mess. Some can make the change. Some can be retrained. But not everybody can make the turn.

Mark Rutland, Relaunch, 174


You must be shapeless, formless, like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash. Become like water my friend.

Bruce Lee

Change is a funny thing. Most people I know hate change. I hate change. Not all change, just the uncomfortable kind that I know will make me a better person. Ironically, however, every person must be able to change and adapt in order to survive. Think about it. Even in the most regimented schedule, there are always variables that must be adapted. The kick to dealing with change is the ability to find a new equilibrium and to find it fast enough to keep up with the change.

The thing is, we adapt to change without even thinking about it. But, change is hard when we chose to do it on purpose.

Changing on Purpose

When we think about change, overthink about change, and obsess about change, change can become a burden. Especially, when we are accustomed to how we always do things. In times like these change is like giving birth — you know it needs to happen but the labor and reality are terrifying.

Perhaps one of the keys to change is understanding that it requires two particular factors: flexibility and reassessment. If the needed change occurs, it is because we are willing to be flexible with our behaviors, approaches, decisions, and methods. Such change also demands that we constantly reassess our behaviors, approaches, decisions, and methods.

These two basic principles are so basic we’ve assumed them into our subconscious. So when we bring them forward into the theater of our decision-making processes, I usually see that’s when we become clumsy or robotic to tackle the problem at hand or reach our goals. We fall into a pitfall of rigidity, forgetting that adjusting to change allows us to be flexible to reach our goals by constantly reassessing and adjusting to new situations.

It’s really the hardest thing to realize that adjusting to change is an ongoing process, and the ability to be flexible actually translates into our reaction time and success in an ever-changing world. This is true for the individual, an organization, a church, and the market. This requires a healthy measure of reassessment.

When I think of adjusting to change, I often think about the time when I was a member of an urban congregation in San Francisco, CA, and we made the move out of the city, due to some civic pressures, to the suburban environment of Pacifica, CA. This transition was paved with flexible adjustments to new needs in order to reach our goal of planting a new church. The season of this transition taught me many lessons about leadership and change, especially as I watched our leadership move forward to meet this challenge that was new to all of us.

We had to rent a meeting place while building a new meeting place. We had to re-envision a new ministry team while maintaining an existing ministry team. We had to face a new environment (new meeting times, new responsibilities, etc.) while desiring to maintain the congregational environment we had been used to (teaching, preaching, worship, eating together). So many things to balance.

There was no way this would be accomplished without flexibility and the vision to reassess behaviors, approaches, decisions, and methods. We were on the verge of a powerful transition for the congregation. We knew things were happening all around us, and in some measure —if not in whole— we were dreaming new dreams not knowing exactly how this would turn out.

Leadership

How you lead in times like this speaks volumes of your vision casting skill set in order to adjust to changes. When we moved to Pacifica our leadership did a great job helping us envision the benchmarks which needed to be met in order to make this transition a success. We would meet in a firehouse meeting building, and we would meet on Sundays, but our mid-week Bible study times were either on a Tuesday night or a Thursday night. In order to keep the church together, we would need to bus members from San Francisco who did not have rides to church in Pacifica. We would also be reassessing our ministry team by adding a new ministry family. The leadership invited the church members into the process.

Creativity and Delegation

Creativity and delegation are powerful skills that provide a healthy environment for growth. When a group can think creatively and take ownership of its actions, then a powerful and healthy environment is created to facilitate growth. They have taken the challenge to change on purpose. Every Sunday in the firehouse in Pacifica was filled with the sort of energy aroused because we were being creative by solving problems and everyone had a unique role to fill. For example, the firehouse hall had no classrooms but in time canvass sheets were clamped to beams in the ceiling in order to create barriers for Bible classes. We were able to see what was not physically there and brought it into existence through creativity.

Everyone participated in the setting up and storing of the metal chairs we sat in during assembly. No one person did everything, no micro-managers, we were a collective flexible group using our creativity to adjust to our new environment. When the congregation finally entered into the new building and was poised to use all that energy of collective flexibility to continue to be the church that could meet any challenge because it had become accustomed to change. Consequently, the goal was reached.

Ira North in his book, Balance, speaks to the potency of delegating responsibilities within a church context. When brethren in a local congregation have “responsibility” in their hands for specific “church-related” tasks, it alleviates the entire burden from being on a small group of people. More work can be accomplished, and it can be accomplished better by those with specialized skill sets whether it be practical or professional.

Read my Book Review on Balance “Why Balance Still Resonates”

The Challenge

I often think about the moment after we reach our goals. Reaching a goal is usually the result of not just tackling the known challenges but also of being flexible enough to be able to reassess during the journey to adjust to new changes. Too many times we lose something after we reach our goals. Many times we think we have arrived and no longer need to drive towards reaching our goals.

Heraclitus is famous for saying,

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.

There is a tendency to stop being creative, to stop being flexible, and to reconsolidate power so that the energy that was so instrumental now begins to wane. Some believe the “success” of the good ole days (i.e., the past) is the key to “success” in the present; that it can be duplicated today by holding on to the past. But, I would argue that in doing so we quickly forgot that past successes are many times the result of the product or message itself and not the means (i.e., the strategy) of how we delivered it. They seem to never take into consideration that they were engaged in the touching points of their niche culture or times — things that always change.

An energized church or group becomes a stagnant, rigid, micromanaged place that no longer has the reaction time to adjust to the changes around them or to dream another dream. Why? It’s not usually about the product or the message they share, it is usually about failing to meet the challenge to change on purpose.

Concluding Thoughts

So, I’m chasing to end where I started. Change. It’s a funny thing. We do it all the time to great success, particularly when we do not give it much thought. Yet, the moment we change on purpose the temptation rises to over-analyze and micromanage how to change. When we do this, we often lose the powerful elements which allow us to successfully adjust to change —our need to reassess our behaviors, approaches, decisions, and methods, and our need to be flexible in order to keep moving forward.

So if you have a goal to meet, let me encourage you with a word. Stop overthinking change! It’s healthy, it’s normal. Be flexible and willing to constantly reassess behaviors, approaches, decisions, and methods. If you can do that, you just might be the force you were meant to be.


An Elders’ Character: A Matter of Public Record (1 Tim 3:7)

Moreover, he [the guardian/overseer (3:1)] must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil. (1 Timothy 3:7 ESV)

One of the qualifications for the “guardians” (overseers) in Ephesus listed above concerns the Christian man’s reputation among non-Christians. In 1 Tim 3:7, the church is called to evaluate this testimony as a preventive measure in the selection process of a “guardian.”

It has been asked, “what will happen to a leader who is not so regarded by those outside the church”?[1] The answer is clear: it becomes a trap set by the Devil to bring about disgrace in the church. The man’s public record must weigh in as to whether or not he should have the responsibility of a guardian. Let us explore this verse in some greater detail by looking at three aspects of the text.

(1) A Final Necessity

After exploring thirteen qualifications designed to add details to the broad concept of being “above reproach” (1 Tim 3:2), the final detail is the measure of his character as reflected by “outsiders.”

The nature of his public record must be “morally excellent.” The ESV has “well thought of,” but the text literally reads, “have a good testimony.” It covers the positive moral ideas of good, noble, and praiseworthy, a quality that is “favorably valued.”[2] His character and standing in the community (3:7) must be equal to the “good work” as a guardian (3:2).

The “source” of information which is supposed to help the church examine a “guardian’s” candidacy comes from non-Christians (literally, “from those on the outside”). At first glance, this may appear to be strange. Why would public opinion matter when addressing the leadership role of a church “guardian”? The short answer is his public reputation either brings glory to God or disgrace to His Kingdom. This qualification of the quality of an overseer’s reputation must not be ignored.

(2) The Reason for the Requirement

The middle of the verse reads, “so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.” The emphasis is placed upon protecting the church from those who have a bad reputation in the community; such a scenario would play “into the devil’s trap.”

Are there any longstanding frictions with the community which not only are detrimental to the guardian’s service but also to the mission of the church? Is he “known” for having improper relationships, or do rumors circulate about him which would be reproachable to him?

These questions must be asked and answered. However, despite the importance of public record, the community is not the final say. It is an important part of the appraisal process designed to prevent disgraceful men from entering the eldership. It is much easier to get a man in than it is to remove an unqualified elder.

(3) The Ever-Present Danger of the Devil

There are no sinless guardians; however, pretense and hypocrisy are subject to slander and accusations. Such is the main objectives of “the Slanderer” (i.e., the Devil). The man’s public record should not be a prized trophy captured by the Devil (i.e., the implied hunter’s snare). Consequently, “Christian men who bring widespread scandal upon the church of God have a heavy burden to bear.”[3]

If one’s character is something that has been built brick by brick, then so is one’s reputation. Good character does not have to be perfect, but according to this verse, one’s reputation does need to be well thought of. This, then, is not a role where one develops a good reputation; quite to the contrary, the role is for the person who already possesses an excellent reputation. Contextually, further, they must already possess such a reputation from the community.

A Final Word

One’s public record is a general guide to anticipating the trajectory of a person’s character: where does it point? We must allow for imperfect people to have imperfect records; furthermore, not all concerns are of the same weight and worth. Nevertheless, if there is no longstanding trajectory towards godliness in non-Christian circles then it is adequately apparent such a prospect cannot serve in such an iconic and spiritual role as shepherd, elder, and overseer in the church of God, which is God’s house (1 Tim 3:15).

I was recently told of a congregation that was in the process of selecting new elders. In keeping with the tenor of this character requirement, the congregation placed a notice in a local newspaper seeking public input as to the character and public record of the proposed elders. I am unaware of the outcome, but their action is powerful as it upholds the importance placed upon an elder’s public record.

Endnotes

  1. George W. Knight, III, The Pastoral Epistles (1992; repr., Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 2013), 165.
  2. Bauer, Walter, Frederick W. Danker, W. F. Arndt, and F. W. Gingrich, eds. A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature, 3rd ed. (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 2000), BDAG 504; Johannes P. Louw and Eugene A. Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament Based on Semantic Domains, 2d ed. (New York, NY: United Bible Society, 1989), L&N 88.4.
  3. Wayne Jackson, Before I Die: Paul’s Letters to Timothy and Titus (Stockton, CA: Christian Courier Publications, 2007), 94.

Why Balance Still Resonates Today

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Ira North, Balance: A Tried and Tested Formula for Church Growth (Nashville: Gospel Advocate, 1983), paperback, 156 pages.

In the academic Spring of 2004, I was enrolled in Freed-Hardeman University’s Masters in New Testament program. I took a course entitled, “The Education Program of the Church.” One of my favorite experiences was reading the book, Balance: A Tried and Tested Formula for Church Growth, written by Ira North (1922-1984).

Judging from North’s accomplishments, it is reasonable to assume why his last contribution to congregational development was selected as mandatory reading for the class. After all, North came from a strong Restoration Heritage pedigree of church leaders, was an accomplished student (Ph.D. Louisina State University), a “known” preacher throughout the Nation, editor of the Gospel Advocate (1977-1982), and educator in Speech and Bible at David Lipscomb University for 18 years.[1]

Aside from the bright red sport-jacket that has become iconic Ira North, it is his relationship with the Madison church of Christ (Madison, TN) which has memorialized him among church leaders. From 1952 until his death in 1984, North worked with the Madison congregation and the effect of his collaboration was the development of the largest church of Christ in the world in 1984 (from about 400 to well over 4,000 members).[2]

Despite the fact that in 1959 North authored, You Can March for the Master, his most celebrated work is Balance; some might say, it is his ninth symphony. Surely, then, the experiences (the good, bad, and ugly) North pulls from, and articulates in meaningful aphorisms is worth the time and energy it takes to read through the book’s 156 pages.

10 Main Points to Explore

In order to have a strong congregation, North places a high premium on common sense. It is the most general of all the points in the book, but common sense is particularly emphasized in the maintenance of the balance of organization, never overly emphasizing one program to the exclusion of all the others. Ideally, when the teaching program is strong, the congregation is mission minded, and is diligent to provide benevolence, church machinery will be in a balance homeostasis. The church symmetrically pushes forward in each biblical emphasis.

Proper usage of time is vital to the well-being of a congregation in two ways: building use and worship time. North asserts that the church building usage should reflect the business would model – everyday and with regular hours. After all, North argues, the building was designed to be an avenue to serve Christ. More functional and meaninful use of the building is good stewardship of facilities, time, and money. Time management likewise applies to the worship period. “Dead air” should not exist, but instead the worship service ought to be well organized, streamlined, and spiritual. Whenever a congregation keeps its worship and Bible class time within the specified time mentioned in the bulletin or other public notices, then it is obvious that the church is focused upon being an asset to the spiritual development of its members and visitors, without being taxing on the individual time needs of each family. In six words: worship can be timely and spiritual.

Designing a broad program for the work of the church is vital to secure a well-rounded, inclusive labor “in the vineyard.” An approach to implementing scriptural programs should not isolate a few members to do the work of the church. The local work was never designed to run on the backs of a few people (Acts 6.1-4). Thus from the beginning of design, the Bible school curriculum, benevolent programs, and other endeavors for the church, a key component should be that any member of the congregation may participate and contribute their abilities to the cause of Christ (i.e., the vineyard). In other words, make it church policy that the work of the church be inclusive so that all may “enlist.”

The delegation of responsibility to qualified members of the congregation stimulates congregational mobilization. In other words, use “in house” abilities, or to use another slogan, “keep it in the family.” When brethren in a local congregation have responsibility in their hands for specific “church-related” tasks, it alleviates the entire burden from being on a small group of people. More work can be accomplish. Add to this the use of members qualified through their own particular skill sets (accounting, management, baking, encouragement, etc.), then two things are accomlished; The maximization of quality work and specialized work. Because members are in place to accomplish tasks they are familiar with, then personal ownership of the work of the church materializes and the need to serve the Lord is satiated. A true benefit to the congregation is to have members serving in ways they already have the “know how” for Christ.

Another staple for church growth, according to North, is to remain creative and willing to try new ways to help the congregation look for creative and Scriptural ways to fulfill biblical commands. For example, the building can be used as the hub of so many programs as the church develops benevolent programs and evangelistic outreach programs which puts the church in a positive light in the community. A congregation that is busy can generate interest and appreciation from the community, which may encourages people to consider the Gospel. North’s point is not to engender a “stay busy for busy sake” disposition, but instead to break the stagnant complacency found in many congregations. Sometimes a program sounds good on paper, but not in practice. However, whether the programs “work” or not, the church should try numerous biblical ways to serve Christ in the community.

Maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, because it raises a congregation’s atmosphere to higher spiritual altitudes. Since Christianity is a positive religion, it follows that those who subscribe to its teaching out to be so infused with its goodness that it flows over into the atmosphere of a congregation.  Joy, peace, thankfulness, and love are not the hidden fruits of the Spirit, instead they are those things which have become manifest, so these are emotions and blessings that we should expose to the world. It is true that Christains are people, and consequently it is not always the easiest thing to be “happy go lucky.” North feels it is better to be proactive in encouraging and fostering a congregational atmosphere to is positive and loving. This reinforces the attractiveness of the Christian religion, as set forth in the Scriptures (1 Pet. 4.10; Rom. 13.8-14), as being a vibrant and good force in the world.

It is absolutely necessary that the work of the church is inclusive(i.e., social, economical, and age demographic). An extension of designing the congregations programs for all groups in the church, North emphasizes that attention needs to be paid to each individual person in the church. This will make them feel as if they are a part of something and not left out. Members of the Madison congregation would shake hands with each other and with their visitors before each service. North affirms that a strong church needs to implement ways for personal contact and interaction that develops the feeling of mutual dependency among its members.

Evangelistically, North advocates that in order to grow, a congregation ought to search for the one. Whether it is VBS, a “Gospel Meeting,” or a regular service the evangelistic emphasis ought to be on the one, i.e., the individual person. This is echoes the Scriptural teachings of Jesus in the parables of the lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost son (Luke 15.1-32). One more person stimulates constant growth and encourages others to be evangelistic. To be successful, evangelism does not have to be by “the thousands and ten thousands”; it can be a simple and steady stream. There is no reason a whole congregation cannot do this. In order for a congregation to thrive it must continue to search for the one.

At all cost a congregation ought to “give diligence to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4.3; emphasis added). Unity is one of the bedrocks of the Christian religion and must be established in order for true benefit to occur for the church. This affects the atmosphere and purposeful drive of the church in the work of the Lord. Attitudes needs to be set aside, personal ambition ought to be cast away, differences must be “handled with care,” and the goals of Christ must be realized. Members  must truly work together and respect the various roles they play in the congregation.

North advocates that in order to grow, a congregation ought to go all out. This seems to be an extension of the broad church program, the focus upon the individual, and keeping the unity of the church together. All ages ought to be considered for care. If any group in the church needs special attention, all must be done to secure a spiritually invigorating program to help those needs. The widows and the orphans are not the only ones who are “afflicted.” The church can help in those areas where God has desire for there to be help.

Concluding Thoughts

This brief reflection cannot emphasize sufficiently the various beneficial observations North has provided in Balance. North’s “common sense” advice is balanced, focused, and all encompassing; moreover, this common sense served him well while he ministered to the congregation in Madison, Tennessee for 32 years. It is desired that these reflections portray the power of the book in some fashion. All ten points have been thoroughly infused into each chapter and underline the point that there are many factors involved in church growth; it is not simply “a” single factor which is the key.

It is not our conviction that should these principles be employed in the life of a congregation that the church will grow by the thousands, but we believe it is better to say that a congregation that incorporates these principles will breed the right atmosphere for great things to be accomplished for the cause of Christ.

References

  1. Gospel Advocate 126 (1984), 124.
  2. Robert E. Hooper, “North, Ira Lutts (1922-1984),” Encyclopedia of the Stone-Campbell Movement, eds. Douglas A. Foster, et al. (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 2005), 569-70.